Of Hope and Sacrifice
by Simoun Sibylla
Summary: A year after leaving Ataraxia, Leo accidentally discovers what Jomy does to the sleeping Blue each night. Angst, slash Jomy x Blue, suggested Leo x Jomy. Precedes my story "Of Dreams and Desire."


Disclaimer: _Toward the Terra _does not belong to me in any way.

Notes: The story is set about a year after the Mu flee Ataraxia. Contains angst, men kissing each other, etc. If you enjoyed this story, please check out the sequel, "Of Dreams and Desire" and the companion piece, "The Sound of Your Name." Thanks!

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**Of Hope and Sacrifice**

"Are you done yet, Leo?"

Leo put down the datapad from which he had been reading aloud and looked at Jomy. The boy was resting his head on one gloved hand while tapping the other impatiently on the tabletop.

_Soldier, I was hoping to finish going over tomorrow's schedule so that you—_

"Oh, who cares, it's always the same old thing anyway!" Jomy flung himself back in his seat and crossed his arms across his chest. He turned his face away, gazing out the window at the lights illuminating the ship's central park beyond. The frustration and exhaustion radiating from him was almost palpable.

Leo made a mental note to remind Jomy to work on strengthening his telepathic shield again; the boy was notorious for leaking his thoughts and emotions around the ship. Though he had greatly improved his self-control over the last year, he was still prone to letting his frustrations slip out.

_The Elders would like you to come to at least some of your lessons on time_, Leo insisted. When Jomy had first come aboard the ship, it had taken a lot of work to get him to even attend a single lecture or training session, but Leo was glad that now Jomy was at least going to his lessons, even if he was often nearly half an hour late.

"They're lucky I go at all," Jomy growled.

For a split second Leo was afraid that his own mental barrier had broken down, but then he simply laughed softly at the similarity of their thoughts.

"What's so funny?"

He smiled. _I was just thinking of how you used to run away and hide to avoid going to the classroom. I spent a lot of time tracking you down in the depths of the ship_. Sometimes Jomy had even gone missing for several hours at a time, shielding himself telepathically from discovery. Leo idly wondered just how much time he had spent chasing after Jomy only to find him in the oddest locations.

Jomy put one elbow on the table and rested his cheek against the palm of his hand. "I was just exploring," he pouted. "More useful than listening to Hillmann talk about the history of the entire human race again."

_Well_, _then you should know the ship inside and out by now—as the Soldier should._

Jomy narrowed his green eyes for a moment, then sighed and leaned back in his chair again. "Hey, Leo, don't you wanna play a game or something?"

_Hide-and-seek, perhaps?_

"NO!" Jomy yelled, but the he quickly lowered his voice. "I dunno. Cards or something. And I don't mean the ones that Physis uses!"

Leo felt a little disappointed that Jomy had taken away his planned rejoinder. _I'm afraid I do not have any with me right now, but perhaps I can find something suitable for you tomorrow, Soldier._

Jomy sighed loudly again. "Okay, okay, tomorrow, then. What else do I have to do tomorrow?"

Leo smiled, careful to conceal his joy of victory at bringing Jomy back to the work at hand. A little light teasing was often the right course when the young Soldier showed his bullheadedness.

_After your afternoon history lesson, you have a meeting with the captain at 18:30_ _regarding flight path adjustments, followed by a quick meeting with Yae, who would like to discuss the results of your last quiz on spaceflight theory._

"And then I'm done?"

_Then you're done_.

"Thank God," Jomy muttered and shut his eyes. He looked genuinely tired, with faint dark circles beneath his eyes.

Leo decided then it was probably best to call it a night. Soldier or not, Jomy was still just a boy after all. Sometimes he needed a break.

He rose from his seat and carefully collected his materials. _If we are finished, Soldier, I will excuse myself._

"Oh? Ah, yeah, sure, whatever." He yawned.

_Please get some rest, Soldier_. _You have another busy day tomorrow._

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't forget to bring the cards, Leo. Time to do something fun."

Leo started towards the door, but as he passed Jomy, he felt a sudden pang of worry and loneliness. It faded as abruptly as it had come. He stopped in his tracks and looked down at the blond boy still seated in the chair. He suspected that a few fragments of Jomy's thoughts had just strayed into his mind.

_Jomy, _he said, dropping the polite title he usually used to address the leader of the Mu. It was a breach of protocol Leo allowed himself to indulge in only rarely. Leo had made a conscious effort to address the new boy as "Soldier" when all the other Mu still doubted Jomy's abilities as a leader. And now he didn't want to undermine their working relationship. But he still recalled that fleeting time when Jomy had been merely Jomy—just another child from Ataraxia who didn't understand the world anymore. Holding his datapad to his chest, Leo reached down and briefly ran his right hand over Jomy's hair. _Sleep well, Jomy._

"Mm. Goodnight, Leo."

Leo thought he saw a faint smile flicker across Jomy's sleepy face. Satisfied, he walked away and out the door.

xxx

The following evening, Leo arrived at Jomy's quarters a little earlier than usual. He had brought a deck of playing cards with him and hoped they would have a little extra time to enjoy a quick game during their meeting. But Jomy did not answer the door, even after Leo sounded the door chime for the third time.

Confused, he carefully reached out with his mind, but he could not detect Jomy's presence nearby. He turned away from the door and cast his senses about the surrounding area—down the corridor, out to the decks above and below, even to the entrance of the restroom down the hall. Where could the Soldier be at this time of night?

Suddenly the thought came to him that after their conversation last night, Jomy had decided to revive their old hide-and-go-seek routine. In that case, Leo would accept this challenge.

Thus he set out roaming the halls, seeking Jomy's presence telepathically and keeping his eyes open for the slightest hint of the boy with the flowing red cape.

Following his instincts, he found himself in front of a door he had not entered in quite some time: the entrance to the Blue Room. Inside he knew he would find the vast, midnight-blue hall where Soldier Blue still lay sleeping in his bed. Leo stared at the door, debating with himself if he should enter. It was not forbidden to enter the Blue Room—the Elders still held meetings at the sleeping Soldier's bedside in the hopes that he could hear them somehow, and Physis and Dr. Nordy went in several times each day. But most people stayed out of the Blue Room out of respect and perhaps out of fear; few wanted to see their beloved Soldier in such a weakened state.

Even Leo was a little afraid of trespassing, but something told him that he would find Jomy beyond this door. Overcoming his hesitation, he gathered his courage and went inside. He stepped onto the elevator platform that would take him up to Soldier Blue's residence.

As the blue glow of the elevator faded around his feet, Leo walked forward into the Blue Room. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dim light, but what he saw stunned him.

Jomy—no, Soldier Shin—was leaning over Soldier Blue's bed, a neon blue aura of power surrounding him. He stood with his back toward Leo. He bent over the sleeping man's pale form and his right hand reached for him in a way that could only mean—

Leo's heart pounded. Without a doubt, Jomy was giving Soldier Blue a kiss.

After a long moment, Jomy shifted and spoke in a hoarse whisper that echoed in the deathly silence of the chamber. "Please live, Blue."

Leo felt Blue's life force grow stronger. Even at this distance, he could feel that Jomy had done something that brought the former Soldier closer to awakening from his coma.

Then the red-caped Soldier straightened and his aura faded. He looked down at the seemingly lifeless Blue. "I will be back tomorrow." He reached down to brush some of Blue's hair out of his face. "Have a good night."

Leo knew in his heart that he had seen something so secret and sacred that he should be punished on the spot, but he stood transfixed, watching Jomy at Blue's bedside. Even when Jomy turned around and spotted him, he still could not move. He could not say a word. He simply stared back at Jomy, trembling slightly.

"Leo?" Jomy's voice reverberated from the walls and stabbed at Leo's heart. He felt tears stinging his eyes, though he knew not why.

_Forgive me, Soldier Shin! _He cried out telepathically, reflexively staggering a few steps backward and clutching his belongings tightly to his chest. _I did not mean to intrude!_

The floor beneath his feet dropped, and the elevator swiftly carried Leo out of that dark blue room that contained the ship's greatest secret.

xxx

During their usual morning briefing the next day, Jomy did not say anything about the night before, and Leo tried to keep their conversation as short as possible. Then he fled to the spacecraft hangar, where he busied himself by doing some routine checks and maintenance on his fighter.

He simply could not forget the sight of Jomy's lips touching Blue.

_Please live, Blue._

Jomy's words echoed in his heart; they had the power of an incantation. Leo did not know how or why, but he knew with utter certainty that Jomy was keeping Soldier Blue alive. He had felt an unmistakable energy charge the air as Jomy touched the sleeping Soldier.

To be fair, Jomy was no ordinary Mu. If, as some said, the abilities of the Mu stemmed from the power of their fervent desires, then perhaps Jomy's wishes were indeed strong enough to bring even the dead back to life.

Leo remembered the moment when Soldier Blue first spoke of the unique boy who appeared the perfect blend of Mu and human. Leo had sensed immediately that Jomy was someone special to the old Soldier. Still, it had been hard for Leo to imagine someone more powerful than Soldier Blue, the Origin of all Mu, the guardian who had protected and guided them for centuries.

Every single Mu aboard this ship owed his life to Soldier Blue. But now Soldier Blue remained here only because Jomy offered him his own life each night.

Leo did not know what to think. But he knew that Soldier Blue would not be in this perilous state had Leo fulfilled the single most important duty Blue had given him: to protect Jomy Marcus Shin on their return trip to Ataraxia. Through Leo's lack of attention, Jomy had fallen into the cruel hands of Universal Control. As a result, Jomy's powers had unexpectedly awakened, and Soldier Blue was forced to expend his last vital energy to save Jomy from self-destruction. Leo blamed himself for the entire fiasco. If he had done his job properly, Soldier Blue would still be awake and well.

And if there were a way for Leo to give his own life to save Blue, he would, without hesitation. Leo loved Blue more than he could have ever loved his own cold, human foster parents, and even now he missed the affection that Blue had always shown him.

But there was nothing he could do.

Late that night, as he lay sleeplessly in bed thinking about the situation, Leo began to see the dangers of finally losing Blue. There were Mu who tolerated Jomy's position as Soldier only out of respect for Blue's decision in appointing the child and with the understanding that the first Soldier would be back to take his proper place any day now. If it became known that Blue was literally being kept alive by hope and a prayer, they might force Jomy to give up his position. There could be a mutiny.

It was also possible that Jomy was weakening himself to heal Blue. The _Shangri-la _could encounter enemy forces at any moment, and the current Soldier was their only truly reliable weapon and defense. If Jomy's powers were deteriorating at all, it could spell disaster for the entire ship.

Still, Leo could not imagine any way he could advise Jomy to save his energy and let Blue meet his fate, even though the terrible, undeniable truth was that, without Jomy's secret efforts, Soldier Blue probably would have been dead a year ago.

Leo understood now that even if the man should ever wake up again, "Soldier Blue" was gone; the new guardian-protector of the Mu was Soldier Shin.

Perhaps Blue had known all along that he would have to sacrifice himself to make Jomy the new Soldier. Maybe that was why he had designated Jomy as his successor before his poor physical condition finally forced him into his lengthy sleep. Maybe he had known what would happen even before he sent Leo and Jomy back to Ataraxia.

But, no matter what Blue had foreseen, Leo still could not forgive himself for failing on that last mission. His painfully blatant powerlessness in the face of Blue's mortality felt like a well-deserved divine punishment for this failure. Leo would suffer for his sins.

Alone in his room, Leo wept, lamenting his own inadequacies and mourning the loss of his beloved Soldier Blue.

xxx

The following day, Leo informed Jomy that he would take leave from his duties attending the Soldier for a short while, as he had signed up for a supply mission. _We will depart this afternoon for a nearby asteroid field in order to collect some valuable minerals. We should return in two days._

Jomy's displeasure was evident in his thought waves, but he merely grunted and said, "Fine, do what you need to do."

He returned to his quarters and packed a small bag of items necessary for a longer mission. Though he still flew regularly, it had been quite some time since he had left the _Shangri-la_ for more than a few hours. As he zipped up his bag, he was oddly reminded of all the times when he had done the same to prepare for a mission to Ataraxia. Instead of ores and precious metals, though, on Ataraxia he had collected information and—sometimes—newly discovered Mu.

The chime on Leo's door interrupted his thoughts. He went to see who the visitor was and found Cid, his silver-haired friend and fellow pilot, leaning against the doorframe.

"Yo, Leo."

_Cid. _He stepped back to allow his friend to enter the room. _What brings you here?_

Cid stood with his hands on his hips, surveying the sparsely decorated room before turning back to Leo. "I heard you were flying out today," he said.

_Yes. Can I offer you some coffee? I was about to make myself a cup_.

Cid nodded, and Leo took instant coffee and two light green mugs out of a cabinet while Cid pulled a seat up to the small white table on the right side of the room.

"I've got the late shift. Will be on in an hour," said Cid. He glanced at the clock on the wall behind Leo.

_Are you on the bridge again today? _Leo inquired.

"Yep!" He smiled. "I tell you, Leo, there is nothing better than feeling the old _Shangri-la_ respond to the slightest movement of your hands. She's a good ship."

_I can only imagine. _He put two steaming cups of fragrant coffee on the table, and then sat down across from Cid.

Cid took a cup and blew on the hot liquid for a moment to cool it, then took a daring gulp. "Ah, just what I needed," he sighed, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

Leo took a careful sip of coffee himself. It was still too hot for his taste, so he set it back down and wrapped his hands around the cup, feeling the warmth through his gloves.

"Must be nice to get off-ship for a couple of days, though," said Cid, shifting in his chair so that he could drape an arm over the backrest. "The Soldier going to be alright without you?"

Leo managed a smile and shrugged slightly.

"You must have a lot to do, keeping up with the Soldier. When you come back, take a bit of break," he suggested. "You don't have to do double duty all the time."

_I'm fine, really. I was often on duty around the clock for days at a time in Ataraxia when I was in Rescue & Intelligence. _The words slipped out before he could stop them; the last thing he wanted to discuss was Ataraxia.

"Ataraxia…" Cid said nostalgically. "Things sure have changed since then, haven't they?"

_Indeed._

"I think Jo—the Soldier has calmed down a bit, don't you?"

Leo nodded, afraid to say anything lest his self-control slip and his jumbled emotions regarding Jomy spill out to where Cid could read them.

"You're a good influence on him, Leo."

_I am? _he asked, genuinely surprised.

"Yeah," Cid said. "He trusts you. And through you, he's learning to trust the rest of us. And maybe we're learning to trust him, too." His mouth turned up in a faint, sardonic smile, and he leaned forward a little. "You know, he sometimes reminds me a little of you, when you were just a little boy clinging to Soldier Blue's cape."

Leo was startled by the comparison. _I did not…cling._

Now Cid was grinning. "Oh, yes, you did! And you were a stubborn little brat who refused to talk to anyone except the Soldier. But eventually you learned to trust the rest of the Mu enough to open up to us."

Leo looked down into his coffee, a little embarrassed to be reminded of his childhood. As a young boy abruptly released from his prison of silence in Ataraxia, he could not believe that he had come to a place where he could use his telepathy to speak freely to anyone, without punishment. It had taken him some time to overcome the shock of being brought to the _Shangri-la._

_I don't know if that was quite the same thing as Jomy's situation, though_, he protested.

"Well, since Soldier Blue is unavailable at the moment, you're serving in his place, I guess. Jomy would cling to your cape, if you had one."

Leo stared at Cid. Of all people, Leo viewed himself the least capable of replacing Blue in any function. The very idea bordered on something akin to blasphemy.

"Anyway," said Cid, "I should get going. Captain's waiting for me." He rose to his feet, and Leo stood up as well. "Thank you for the coffee."

_Anytime, Cid. Hope your work goes well._

"Yeah, thanks. You have a safe trip. And don't work too much!" Cid called over his shoulder as he strode out the door.

xxx

The supply mission went smoothly. Leaving the _Shangri-la_ to soar through the depthless sea of space was a welcome change of pace, but after two days of patrolling while the miners attacked the rocks, Leo was glad to return to the comforts of home.

All four participating ships returned on schedule, but it was almost noon by the time they had safely docked and unloaded. Leo officially had the rest of the day off, so he showered and cleaned up, then sought out Jomy for the first time in days.

He eventually found him in the park beneath the bridge, playing soccer with the children under the watchful eye of Professor Hillmann. Leo joined the professor to observe the game, which seemed to be degenerating into a wrestling match as some of the children tackled Jomy's legs in an attempt to keep him from kicking the soccer ball into the goal. Jomy was shouting threats at them and playfully trying to shake them off, but they simply held onto him tighter.

"Ah, Leo," Hillmann said, glancing at him. "Is it time for the Soldier to go to his next appointment?"

_Ah— _Leo realized he didn't even know Jomy's schedule for the day.

Out in the field, Jomy toppled to the ground, laughing as the kids launched a tickle assault on him.

"Look at him, still a child himself," the professor chuckled. He raised his voice, "Now, children, it's time to go and clean up before lunch! Release our Soldier!"

The kids wailed in protest. Jomy freed himself, pulled himself to his feet, and dusted the grass off his uniform. "Red cards for all of you! Game over!" he declared with a wicked grin as he picked up the soccer ball. Then he noticed Leo.

Their eyes met, and for a moment, everything around Leo seemed to vanish, leaving only Jomy standing in a sea of white.

_Leo._ Jomy's voice rang loud and clear inside his head, unguarded. But then the world around them snapped back to normal as the Soldier's mental walls rose back up.

Jomy handed the ball to a little girl tugging at his cape, then strode forward to join Leo and Hillmann. "Professor, tell the kids I'll get my revenge in the next match!"

Hillmann appeared amused. "Please feel free to come back the day after tomorrow for the next physical fitness class, if you have the time."

"You bet I will!" He turned back to the kids and shouted, "I'll be back, ya hear me?" They cheered and waved at him; he grinned and waved back. Then he turned on his heel and began to walk off. "Let's go, Leo," he said, without so much as a backward glance.

Falling into step behind Jomy, Leo felt like nothing had changed.

They left the park and entered the main corridor running the length of the ship. Jomy stopped in front of the nearest transportation tube entrance; Leo came to a halt beside him. Together they waited for the next shuttle.

_Where to, Soldier? _he asked, as nonchalantly as possible.

"The library. Miss Ella wanted to give me some things to read on my own time." Telepathically, he added, _I can handle my schedule just fine even without you following me around all the time!_

Leo felt duly chided, but he was just a tiny bit relieved to see that Jomy was not neglecting his studies after all.

The shuttle arrived, and they climbed aboard. Jomy sat down on the bench, while Leo remained standing.

"So you're back now?" Jomy asked flatly, arranging the fabric of his cape beneath him to avoid wrinkling it.

_Yes, we completed our supply mission successfully._

They passed a few moments in silence as the shuttle hurtled down the tunnel.

"Listen, Leo—"

_Yes?_

"About the other night—"

At last the topic had been brought up. During his time away on the supply mission, Leo had sat in his fighter and stared at the stars and the darkness around them, thinking over what he wanted to say. Now was the time to say it: _I apologize for disturbing you. I should have waited for you to return to your quarters instead of going out to look for you. _

Jomy looked bewildered. "What? You were looking for me?"

Now it was Leo's turn to feel confused. _Yes. I had hoped to start our meeting a few minutes early, but when you weren't in your room, I went searching for you. I— _He felt his face heat up with embarrassment. _I thought that perhaps you wanted to play hide-and-seek again._

Jomy stared at Leo for a long moment, then burst out laughing. "Hide-and-seek?" he crowed. "Ahahaha, oh, Leo, you're crazy sometimes!"

The warm wave of Jomy's amusement washed over Leo. Only then did Leo realize just how much he had missed being close to Jomy these past few days. He smiled, feeling sheepish.

"So you weren't avoiding me this whole time?" Jomy asked after his laughter faded. "You were just playing more hide-and-seek after you saw me in the Blue Room?"

_I had other obligations to take care of. _He felt that was the most diplomatic way to put it.

"You weren't upset with me?"

_Upset with you?_

Jomy looked down, adjusting his right glove nervously. "Y'know, me, doing that to Blue." All traces of anger had vanished from Jomy, but it had been replaced by unease. Or maybe that uncertainty was not Jomy's, but Leo's own emotion this time.

_Soldier, I dare not presume to know what goes on between the past and present leaders of the Mu._

"That's not an answer."

The shuttle slowed to a stop and the doors opened with a hiss of depressurizing air.

Jomy stood up. "I'm going to the library alone. Wait for me in front of my room," he ordered.

_Yes, Soldier._ He watched Jomy's back as he left and wondered what he had said wrong.

xxx

Jomy arrived half an hour later, carrying two books under his arm. "I hope you brought the cards," he said as he unlocked the door.

Surprised by the sudden demand, Leo hurried back to his room to get the promised deck of cards from the other night. When he returned, he found that Jomy had taken his cape off and thrown it over the bed. Standing in the center of the room without the heavy, red fabric across his narrow shoulders, Jomy looked smaller and more like a young boy than an imposing leader.

_Here are the cards, Soldier._

"Good!" Jomy pulled off his gloves and tossed them on top of his cape. "What can you play?"

_I am afraid I do not know any card games._

Jomy frowned, yanking the zipper of his jacket down a few inches to reveal the black undershirt beneath. Then he pulled out a chair at the table and sat down, nodding for Leo to join him.

Leo placed the deck of cards on the table and took a seat opposite Jomy.

Jomy picked up the deck and briefly examined the cards, then began shuffling them. "Let's see, what can we play… Ah! How about War?"

_War?_

"It's easy, you just put out the card that's on top of your deck and whoever's is the highest wins the battle. If they're the same, we each place three cards face down and put out one more extra to determine the winner." Jomy eagerly began dealing out the cards. "It's really easy, you'll see."

_I'll do my best._

"It's a good game, because you really can't cheat, even with telepathy," added Jomy, picking up his pile of cards and forming them into a neat little stack. "You also don't have to think very much."

Amused, Leo watched Jomy lay out his first card, then followed suit.

They played a few turns and Leo quickly got the hang of the game. _It really is very simple, isn't it, _he observed after a few more rounds.

Jomy threw out the jack of spades; it beat Leo's ten of clubs, so he collected them both. "Yeah, but it can go on forever 'cause it all depends on luck."

Leo put out another card. _You do not tire of it?_

"Heck, no, I haven't played this since I was a kid," Jomy said, then groaned as he saw that Leo had won this turn. "Augh, no, not my king!" he wailed and flung out his next card in irritation. Leo placed his own beside it—it was a draw. "WAR!" declared Jomy with evident delight. He quickly put three cards face down on the table. "Hurry up, Leo, I wanna beat you this time!"

His excitement was contagious, and Leo found himself trying not to smile at Jomy's impatience. Although attending to the young Soldier was technically part of his work duties, he always enjoyed the moments of fun they shared.

Leo carefully lined up three cards, then put down his fourth face up. It was the queen of hearts.

Jomy glared at the queen, then slammed his fourth card onto the pile. "Hah! Ace of diamonds! Yes!" He scooped up all the cards and added them to his deck.

_You really are enjoying yourself, aren't you. _

"It's fun when you're winning, you know," Jomy shot back with a grin.

_Let's play a few more rounds before we decide the winner_, Leo replied with a smile as he readied his next card. Then he noticed Jomy was staring at him.

"Leo, you sure you weren't upset? Or trying to avoid me?"

Leo put down his handful of cards. Jomy's brows were furrowed and his jaw set firmly as he held Leo's gaze. Yet Leo could not sense the slightest emotion coming from him; abruptly, he realized that Jomy's telepathic guard was perfect at this moment, impenetrable as a wall of steel. Normally he would have been proud, but now Jomy's unexpected coldness just unnerved him.

_Soldier. _He paused, gathering his thoughts. _I was deeply shocked, _he finally admitted. _I had not realized how severe Soldier Blue's condition had become. If I had protected you better in Ataraxia, surely he would not have had to expend so much energy and we would never have gotten into this situation. If I had been more prudent, you would not have to make such sacrifices—_

"Leo," Jomy interrupted, rising to his feet so quickly that he nearly knocked over his chair. He slammed his hands flat on the table and his eyes shone a fierce green. "Come with me. Now." He rushed out of the room, not even stopping to put his cape or gloves back on.

Confused and somewhat frightened, Leo hurried after him.

xxx

Again Leo found himself standing in front of the door to the Blue Room, though this time Jomy was at his side.

Silently, Jomy bowed his head and entered. Leo followed.

The Blue Room was empty and dark, except for the softly glowing lamps illuminating the bed. Their footsteps echoed on the hard marble floor as they approached Blue's bed. The air seemed to grow cooler here, causing Leo to shiver.

They stopped in front of the bed. "I come here every night," Jomy said quietly. He stepped forward and pulled aside the semi-transparent curtains to fully reveal Blue's pale face to Leo. "Soldier, Leo is here tonight, too," he told the sleeping figure.

There was no response, though Leo knew he should never have expected one.

"Come here, Leo," Jomy ordered, and Leo stepped closer to the bed.

"Sometimes, he would answer. But lately there's no response anymore." Jomy knelt down and leaned over Blue, nearly pressing his ear to his chest. "You can hear his heartbeat," he whispered, "and see that he's breathing. Look."

Nervously, Leo sank to his knees and dared to look closely at Blue's reposing body. He could barely make out the slow rise and fall of his chest—that familiar chest that he had hugged so easily as a little boy. Blue's body seemed smaller and frailer than he remembered.

Jomy moved up so that his face was nearly touching Blue's. "You can feel his breath, though it's shallow." He stood up and moved aside so that Leo could see for himself.

Face burning, Leo ascertained that Blue was indeed breathing very, very lightly.

"He gets tired just keeping his body functioning all day," Jomy said, his voice catching just a little. "Physis and the doctor do what they can for him, but sometimes I can tell it's not enough, so I—I do what I can."

Leo rose to his feet, careful not to disturb the bed sheets in the slightest.

"Sometimes I think he's lonely," continued Jomy. "Perhaps—he would like it if you—" His voice trailed off. _If you also kissed him, _he added finally, as though he were too shy to say such a thing aloud. _I think he can feel that, even if he can't hear us._

Leo gaped at Jomy. The Soldier's expression was firmly set, though his green eyes glimmered suspiciously in the lamplight.

_Do it, Leo. _It was an order now, not a suggestion.

Leo turned back to Blue. He felt as though this were a surreal dream, where time had come to a halt and nothing existed, except for the three of them. He thought his own heart might stop at any moment.

After a long stretch of silence, he finally addressed Blue's mind: _Soldier Blue, this is Leo. I apologize for not coming to see you sooner. _He closed his eyes, trying to find the right words. _I also apologize for not taking better care of Jomy._

He opened his eyes and leaned forward, feeling as though everything was moving in slow motion. _Please pardon the intrusion_, he murmured as he placed his left hand beside Blue's pillow. Propping himself up on one arm, he gingerly pushed aside Blue's bangs with his right hand, then bent down to reverently and very lightly brush his lips against the Soldier's forehead. _Please, _he prayed, _come back to us soon. We miss you._

Then he stepped back, out of the way.

Jomy moved to the bed and bent over Blue. Leo saw him kiss Blue's mouth before he abashedly averted his eyes. The distant walls of the vast room brightened briefly with that unique blue light that was the birthright of the two Soldiers alone.

"Please live, Blue."

After a moment, Jomy drew the curtains on the bed and joined Leo again. "He'll wake up again, Leo, just you wait and see," Jomy said.

Leo's smile was bittersweet. _I hope so, Soldier, I hope so._

They started back towards the elevator that would take them to the exit.

_Stop blaming yourself, Leo._

For a moment Leo thought Soldier Blue had spoken. He stopped in his tracks and turned back to look at the sleeping form on the bed, but then he realized it was Jomy who had addressed him. He turned to his, surprised by how deeply the young Soldier's concentrated telepathy penetrated him.

Jomy stood facing Leo. _None of this is your fault, Leo. If you failed to protect me, it's only because I demanded to go back to Ataraxia despite the danger. Any blame falls on me._

Leo felt sick to his stomach. In his own petty spiral of self-pity, Leo hadn't even realized what his declarations of guilt and failure suggested to Jomy. _Soldier, I never meant to—!_

Jomy closed his eyes and bowed his head. _You think I didn't notice how much everyone sacrificed just to get me out of there alive the second time? You risked your life to take me home to Ataraxia. Soldier Blue risked his life to convince me to come back here. Every single Mu on this ship put their lives in danger to protect me and Soldier Blue!_

He paused and met Leo's eyes again. _Every single Mu born among the humans from now on will die because my stubborn foolishness forced us to flee. The very least I can do, _he said, placing his hand over his heart, _is to offer myself to Blue and hope that I can keep him alive, so that he may return and be the Soldier that I can never be!_

Leo felt something stinging in his eyes. He had cried during that long night a few days before—for himself, and for Blue. But he should have wept for Jomy, who had never wanted any of this but now was forced to carry a terribly heavy burden.

Leo had been too self-centered to see that. But he would not make that mistake again.

A sense of protectiveness flooded Leo's heart as he gazed at the young man standing in front of him. Here was the Mu that the Soldier had directly entrusted into his care. Here stood the last child Leo had been able to rescue from Ataraxia. Jomy was the last mission Soldier Blue had assigned to him. It was up to Leo now to help Jomy become the leader Soldier Blue had envisioned. It was his duty to make sure the countless sacrifices made for this Mu would be worth the price in the end. That was the least he could do for Soldier Blue.

_Soldier Shin, _he began, _we Mu are fragile and cannot bear the thought of losing even one of their own. _

As he spoke, he thought of Blue, who had led the Mu for three centuries and fought for their survival against the worst possible odds. Blue had given them a second chance at life and inspired them with his dreams of the future, but he had also quietly taken the responsibility for all the forfeited opportunities, dashed hopes, and lives lost. Leo understood that reality better now than ever before.

But just when Blue's strength was deteriorating rapidly and the crushing weight of nearly 300 years of solitude began to erase the light from his eyes, Jomy arrived. After three centuries, Blue was no longer the only one of his kind. Finally, he had found someone with whom he could share everything—his joy, his suffering, his wishes, his love.

Jomy had restored Blue's hope for the future, and by extension, the hope of all Mu. For that alone, Blue had been willing to sacrifice everything, even the chance to see Terra with his own eyes.

For Jomy, Blue had been willing to sacrifice even the lives of all the Mu yet to be born.

_We may be weak,_ said Leo with a passion he had never felt before, _but you have a heart great enough to encompass all our pain and turn it into hope. Surely that is why Soldier Blue chose you._

"Leo…"

He dropped to one knee and clasped Jomy's right hand into both of his. _Soldier Shin, as long as you do what you believe is best for the Mu, I will support you, _he vowed, there in the almost holy presence of Soldier Blue. _I will protect you with every fiber of my being. That is my promise to you. _He bowed his head. _And that is my duty to Soldier Blue._

"But, Leo," said Jomy, pulling him to his feet, "don't forget—Blue chose you, too."

Leo felt something inside him shift, like a tight knot in his heart was coming undone.

"Come back here with me tomorrow night," Jomy suggested, still holding Leo's hand. He looked back at that silent bed occupying the center of this huge room. "And every night after that, too, if you want—until he wakes up again."

_Until he wakes up again._

Jomy smiled up at him, and in that moment, Leo felt the rekindling of something like hope inside himself, too.


End file.
